Winston Salem Health: Grief

Typical responses to grief

• Shock and disbelief: immediately after experiencing or learning such events, many people may feel numb, or feel like such events can’t quite be real.
• Speculation about what happened, and seeking more information, such as talking to others about what each know or have heard.
• Physical reactions including fatigue, nightmares, exhaustion, and health problems.
• Cognitive reactions including difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or memory problems.
• Emotional reactions including fear, guilt, anxiety, depression, feelings of helplessness, and anger.
• Wanting to check in with loved ones, even if they are not close by. It is normal to want to touch base with someone you care about.
• In the hours and days following such events, the shock begins to wear off, and more feelings may emerge. It is important to share these feelings with people that you trust.

Coping suggestions

• Do activities to de-stress and help yourself to feel safe.
• Structure your time — keep busy.
• Give yourself permission to have feelings and to share those feelings w/others.
• Help your fellow students by checking out how they’re doing.
• Talk to others — this is the most healing medicine.
• Listen to others — reassure them that they are safe, don’t take their feelings personally.
• Don’t scapegoat.
• Don’t blame yourself.
• Don’t turn to alcohol or drugs.
• Keep your life as normal as possible.
• Keep a journal.
• Reassure yourself that a wide range of reactions and feelings are normal.
• Remind yourself that DU takes your safety seriously and is doing everything possible to keep you safe.

Circumstances or signs that may lead you to seek additional counseling support

• Memories of previous loss, trauma, or crisis that you have faced
• Experiencing heightened feelings of anxiety, fear for your safety, or rage
• Crying more than usual in response to sadness